


What I've always wanted

by Kisskei (anikinz12)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Eventual Smut, M/M, Rating May Change, Trans Male Character, Trans Yamaguchi Tadashi, okay bare with me, so i wrote one, there wasn't enough tans boy yams fics, transboy!yams, tsukki is a sweetheart to yams
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-09
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-07-22 12:12:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7438576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anikinz12/pseuds/Kisskei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>trans·gen·der<br/>transˈjendər,tranzˈjendər/<br/>adjective<br/>adjective: transgendered<br/>denoting or relating to a person whose self-identity does not conform unambiguously to conventional notions of male or female gender.</p><p>or the transboy!yams fic that no one asked for</p>
            </blockquote>





	What I've always wanted

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I've used this site so bare with me please

When I was younger, I felt odd.

All the girls in my class were all basically the same. They loved to play dress up and play with Barbies that they dreamed of growing up to be. They wore dresses that went down to their knees and make up that just got _everywhere_.

They looked at me like I was crazy, because I hated those types of things. They made fun of me because I would play with ‘boy’s toys’.

What the hell are ‘boy’s toys’? Why do toys have to be for specific genders? At the end of the day they’re just…

Toys.

My mom noticed it. But, she never said anything.

When I got older, my body began to change into something I hated. All the girls were jealous because I had the biggest boobs in the class yet, I was also jealous because of how small theirs were. I hated my chest! Boys would give me unwanted attention because of it and I nearly cried everyday at school. My shirts even began to stop fitting and it became hard to sleep at night.

My mom noticed it. But, she never said anything.

It got worse when I got to the age where I ‘finally’ started my period. I was a wreck. I hated the pains and aches from my stomach! My chest became bigger and they hurt like hell!

I hated it! I hated it! I hated it!

At one point in time, I began crying myself to sleep at night. I felt as though that was the only thing I _could_ do.

My mom noticed it. But, she sadly never said anything.

I remember, one day at school, I watched a few boys tossing a volleyball back and forth during recess. I loved watching them play. The sport looked like so much fun and soon just simply watching them wasn’t enough for me. I walked up to the small group and called out one of the boys names. I had remembered him from my class the year before.

“C-Can I play?” I had asked, hopeful, a smile on my face showing my excitement.

“What? No! Beat it, Yamaguchi!” Spit the boy, “This is for boys! We don’t want your germs all over our ball!”

My heart shattered as I watched them laugh and high five each other. Then, not a second later, going back to their game.

I was so heartbroken! Devastated!

I stormed off, tears rushing down my face. I wasn’t even angry at the boys. I was more upset at myself more than anything. I had made it inside and rushed inside the girl’s restroom. But, of course, not before glaring at the pink female sign that sat on the front of the door.

 _‘Why?!’_ I screamed in my head, pulling at my long, dark brown hair.

I hated this!

First the toys, then my chest and my period, and now this?! I wasn’t even aloud to play a simple sport because of my gender!

I remember sobbing on the floor of the restroom before a teacher had found me and brought me to the front office to call my mom. When I got home, I simply laid in bed, not wanting to do anything other than sleep.

My mom noticed. But, she never said anything.

I began to hate my gender. Well, more myself than my gender. Why wasn’t I normal? Why couldn’t I just be like the normal girls in my class? Why did I have to be so weird?

I hated everything about myself. My hair was the worse part of my body (not including the weird chest lumps that my body decided to grow without my permission). My hair was too long, just at the middle of my back. It would always get caught on random things around my house. They would even get caught on my earrings that my mom forced me to get at a young age.

I had grabbed a pair of scissors from the kitchen downstairs and began clipping away at the strands until my hair was just at my ears. It was choppy and awkward looking but nevertheless, I loved it.

My mom had walked in.

“Yamaguchi Tadashi, What did you _do_?!” She exclaimed, rushing over. She didn’t look mad. More shocked than anything.

“I hate this, mom.” I sobbed, dropping the scissors, “I don’t want to be a girl anymore!”

She was quiet for a moment, looking at the hair that surrounded my bare feet in thought, before speaking.

“And what would you like to be, Tadashi?” She was now kneeling in front of me.

“I…” I sniffled, before wiping at my nose, “I want to be a boy!”

My mom noticed. But, this time she _did_ say something.

“Then you’re a boy. Simple as that.” She gave me a fond smile, “Now, let’s go get my dazzling boy a proper hair cut, shall we?” She stood, reached her hand out towards me which I took, and she led me out of the house.

She took me to get my hair fixed, which I loved, despite that one piece of hair that wouldn’t stay down no matter what. Then she took me clothes shopping. She had smiled at me while we stood at the entrance of the shopping center.

“Take me where you wanna go.” She said and I nearly started crying all over again. My mom was so understanding. At first, I couldn’t believe it. But, after awhile I realized it wasn’t a dream at all.

I started feeling better about myself. Even though I couldn’t get rid of the gross lumps on my chest or that hell week I’m forced to go through every month, I was feeling better.

Over the summer, right after I had turned 13, I looked up whatever I was going through. It’s called being Transgendered. I didn’t want to be a girl anymore so I simply changed my gender. My mom had even told me that it was my body and I got to decide what I wanted to do with it (to a certain extent, at least).

During my second year of middle school, I introduced myself as a boy…

Everyone laughed in my face.

“You’re obviously _not_ a boy!”

“You sound like a girl though!”

“You have boobs! You’re not a boy!”

Your first day of school shouldn’t be spent crying. But, that’s what I ended up doing. The second day was no different. But, at the same time…

It was the best day of my life.

I remember a kid from my first class shoving me.

“Aren’t you the girl that said you were a boy?” The girl laughed to her friends and shoved me again.

“I-I am a boy!” I retaliated, hugging my backpack to my chest.

“No, you’re not! You’re obviously a girl! Look,” The girl grabbed my backpack from my hands and shoved me to the ground, “You even have boobs!” Then my backpack was thrown towards my face.

My eyes began to water.

“What? You’re gonna cry because we’re stating the facts?” Another said and they all laughed again.

“Wow, you’re a liar _and_ a crybaby!”

“Hey!” Someone called and we all turned to find a boy standing there. He was blonde with glasses perched up on his nose. He glared at the girls.

“You guys are pathetic!” He called. “Leave him alone!”

It was the first time someone had called me by my correct pronouns, besides my mom.

The girls scoffed and walked away. The boy stood there for a moment, watching them leave before walking over. He helped off the ground and dusted me off, his face neutral the entire time.

“Are you okay?” He asked after a moment of silence between us and I nodded, wiping at my tears.

“I’m fine.”

“Why were they bothering you?”

I sniffled, picking my bag up off the floor.

“Because I’m an idiot.”

He raised an eyebrow at me. I felt as though, those golden eyes were looking straight through me.

“All I want in life is to be a boy!” Tears now fresh, “I want to be a boy!”

“Correction;” The taller boy said, leaning in slightly, “You _are_ a boy. That’s _your_ decision, no one else’s.”

He turned and began to walk away. I stood there shocked.

“W-Wait!” I called, “What’s your name?”

“Tsukishima Kei… you?”

“Y-Yamaguchi Tadashi.”

“See you around, Yamaguchi.”

Then he left, leaving me there shocked and in awe. All I could think about was wanting to be the boy’s friend. He was someone who didn’t care about me being transgendered and spoke to me normally instead of treating me like I was some sort of freak.

I paused before rushing after the kid.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I've used this site so bare with me please


End file.
